Tales of a Geeky Woman

Moving!

2011-06-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

Well, in the spirit of doing something new, I have decided to move this blog from Blogger to tumblr. It's also being renamed, as I always thought the name of this blog was kind of dumb, but it was all I could think of at the time. New blog can be found here.

Silent Hill, Part 3: The Hospital

2010-11-07T11:21:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Part 3! When we last left Harry, he was just about to head out of the school and to the church.

The key that Harry got at the end of the school area will become fairly important in a minute, since the more direct routes to the church are all blocked off. Therefore, he must once again cut through someone's house in order to get there. Thankfully, the only key that is needed for this area is the one he already has.

Anyway, cutting through K. Gordon's house (interesting note: the bassist for the band Sonic Youth is named Kim Gordon. This is intentional) and a little tricky navigation leads us to the Balkan Church, and our next character, Dahlia. She's crazy.

Most of you probably have no idea what gyromancy is. According to the repository of all human knowledge (also known as Wikipedia), gyromancy is a form of divination that involves a circle of letters. The one doing the divining spins around in this circle until they get dizzy and fall over on one of the letters. Then they keep doing this until they have a complete sentence. Who says video games aren't educational?

Anyway, Harry is given a couple of items: the key to a drawbridge that leads to the next section of town, and a pyramid shaped object called the Flauros. The first will soon become fairly important. The Flauros we can just forget about until closer towards the end of the game.

Heading over the drawbridge takes us into Central Silent Hill (the area we were in previously being Old Silent Hill), and Alchemilla Hospital. This is probably the most important area of the game, story-wise, which will become quite evident a little later on. It's also one of the longer levels, so I'll split this one between the normal hospital, and the Otherworld hospital.

Much like the rest of the town, the hospital is completely deserted. Well, almost. Yup, it's time for us to meet our next character, Dr. Kaufmann. Much like how Dahlia is crazy, Dr. Kaufmann is a prick.

Also, if it's possible, he's a worse shot than Harry. He manages to miss while standing about 3 feet away.

Kaufmann comments that it's snowing out of season. Harry asks if he has seen his daughter, and Kaufmann replies no, and kind of insinuates that she's probably dead. Once again, he's a prick.

The good doctor walks out of the room, leaving Harry free to explore the hospital. There's not really anything particularly interesting in here, at least until getting to the director's office. In this office, Harry find a smashed vial, containing a red liquid that, surprisingly for this game, is not blood. Harry can collect it in a little plastic bottle that he finds in the kitchen:

The liquid is eventually referred to as aglaophotis, a name that I'll explain a little closer towards the end of the game. It plays a very important role at the end of the game, and whether or not the player chooses to use it during a boss fight in the penultimate level is one of the determining factors for the ending.

Harry also eventually finds a key that unlocks the door to the basement. There isn't really much down here, except for the generator. This needs to be switched on so that the elevator will work.

Bｓarding said elevator, Harry rides it to all three floors, only to find that the doors from the elevator rooms are all broken. After this, a button for the fourth floor suddenly appears. Here I will note that the number 4 actually has more or less the same significance in Japan that the number 13 has in Western culture. The reason for this is because the kanji for four (四, yon or shi) shares a pronunciation with the kanji for death (死, shi). For this reason, the reading "yon" is typically used for "four."

Upon entering the fourth floor, we see this rather enigmatic little scene.

The fourth floor has a fairly familiar reddish, rusty tint to it, which means that we have just entered the Otherworld hospital.

Silent Hill, Part 2: Back to School

2010-11-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

Welcome back! When we last left our intrepid hero, he had decided that Cheryl was at the local elementary school.

A lot of the doors in the school are locked. Well, not really locked, but most of them are jammed and won't open. A locksmith would probably make a killing in Silent Hill. Y'know, if it weren't for all the hideous abominations lurking about town.

Anyway, upon entering the school, we find some clues to some puzzles scattered around the reception area. They're all written in blood. Most of the puzzles in the game aren't too terribly difficult to figure out, but there are a few headscratchers. I will actually detail one of them in this post, since it's actually fairly memorable.

The goal of this portion of the game is to unlock a clock tower sitting in the corner of the school's courtyard. Standing in the way of Harry's progress are a rather familiar enemy: the weird little skinless children from the alleyway. Their official name is the Grey Child, which is certainly descriptive. They also help illustrate a rather interesting difference between the American and European releases of the game: in this part, in the European and Japanese releases, they are replaced by another creature (called Mumblers) that don't typically appear until much later in the game. This is, naturally, due to the fact that the Grey Children look like, well, children. Horrible, demented, knife-wielding children, but children nonetheless.

The game was released in the US on January 31, 1999...a little less than four months before Columbine. Needless to stay, the grey children would probably not have flown had the game seen its North American release in, say, May 1999.

Anyway, the school, though mildly creepy in the foggy world, is still not really all that scary, other than the critters roaming the halls. The really creepy bit is yet to come.

In order to get to the really creepy bit of the school, Harry must solve some puzzles. The first one is fairly easy: pouring hydrochloric acid on a hand statue, getting it to release a gold medallion.

The second one is probably the most difficult one in the game. It involves playing piano keys (the ones that are broken and don't emit any sound) in the correct order.

This little poem provides the main clue for the puzzle:

First flew the greedy Pelican,
eager for the reward.
White wings flailing.

Then came a silent Dove,
flying beyond the Pelican,
as far as he could.

A Raven flies in,
flying higher than the Dove.
Just to show he can.

A Swan glides in to find a peaceful spot
next to another bird.

Finally, out comes a Crow,
coming quickly to a stop, yawning and then napping.

Who will show the way?
Who will be the key?
Who will lead to the silver reward?

Yeah, a lot of people found this puzzle rather annoying and difficult. Apparently, it's a lot easier to figure out if you actually know how to play the piano.

There is another memorable moment in the locker room next to this puzzle. Harry goes to investigate a shaking locker. He opens it, to find...a cat. Said feline leaps down from the locker and scoots out the door, where something vague and rather horrible happens to it.

There's actually a callback to this scene in the Otherworld school.

Anyway, with medallions in tow and the boiler in the basement switched on, Harry can now enter the clock tower in the courtyard.

Things look pretty much the same at first, except one major thing has changed: there is now a giant occult symbol in the middle of the courtyard. Harry is understandably confused.

Now we get to explore a new version of the school! A version that looks like it was designed by an architect on a very bad acid trip. This version of the school is covered in blood and rust, and floors are replaced with metal grating. And the first floor girl's bathroom teleports you to the second floor girl's bathroom.

This leads me to another thing I like about this game. A lot of horror games and movies tend to rely on jump scares. Silent Hill does not do this. Yeah, there are a handful of jump scares (such as the cat incident mentioned earlier, or a corpse with a key suddenly falling out of a locker), but they're not overused. It uses the atmosphere and music (which, except for a few instances, isn't really music but distressing mechanical and industrial noises) to frighten the player. Remember, there's a difference between being startled and being actually frightened.

In the second floor boy's bathroom, Harry finds a new weapon: the shotgun. Unfortunately, this is also in the room with the shotgun:

But hey! Boomstick! That's always a good thing!

There is another interesting moment in the game that is worth mentioning. Harry comes across a classroom in which the only object is a table covered in telephones. Upon attempting to enter the room, the phone rings, and we get treated to this little moment:

This part of the game (and really the game as a whole) plays on a very basic fear: the fear that every parent has that something horrible is going to happen to their children.

While navigating the hellish school, Harry comes across a fairly interesting book in the library:

"Hearing this, the hunter armed with bow and arrow said, "I will kill the Lizard." But upon meeting his opponent, he held back, taunting, " Who's afraid of a Reptile". At this the furious Lizard hissed, "I'll swallow you in a single bite!" then, the huge creature attacked, jaws open wide. This was what the man wanted. Calmly drawing his bow, he shot into the Lizards gaping mouth. Effortlessly the arrow flew, piercing the defenseless maw. And the Lizard fell down dead."

This is a clue to the game's first boss, a very large, somewhat tampon-shaped lizard creature that Harry has to defeat in the school's basement.

It is called a Split Head. This is because it splits it head open in order to swallow you whole. I fucking hate this boss. Not because it's particularly difficult or frustrating. No, it's because it scares the hell out of me.

Anyway, Harry defeats the Split Head by unloading some buckshot into its mouth. Upon the monster's defeat, the world shifts back, and Harry has an encounter with the girl he swerved to avoid at the beginning. She promptly vanishes, leaving behind a key.

Upon heading upstairs to exit the school, Harry hears the sound of church bells in the distance. He figures that someone must be ringing them, and decides to head to the church to investigate.

That is where we'll leave off for now. Next time, we get to explore what is probably the most important area of the game: the hospital.

Silent Hill, Part 1: The Beginning

2010-10-31T09:25:00.001-07:00

I am aware that it has been a while since my last update, but hey, Halloween's as good a day as any to talk about Silent Hill.

I should note that I shall be using quite a bit of video for this venture, just as a warning for those with slower internet connections. I will also be posting this in installments, otherwise this will end up being a very long post.

We shall start, as they say at the beginning.

Silent Hill was originally released for the Sony Playstation in 1999. It, of course, takes place in a small American resort town called Silent Hill (so it isn't just a clever name). We don't really have any idea where Silent Hill actually it, since it's never really mentioned in the games. The movie places it in West Virginia for some reason, but, since the series obviously takes a great deal of influence from the works of Stephen King, I prefer to think of it as being somewhere in Maine.

Before we even get to the game's opening menu, we are treated to a cutscene. A phrase, "The fear of blood tends to create fear for the flesh," appears at the beginning. We are then treated to a scene of our main character, writer Harry Mason, and his daughter, Cheryl, traveling down the highway, interspersed with shots relating to him and the other characters in the game, all set to music that sounds like it comes from the Italian restaurant of the damned. At the end, a girl appears in the middle of the road. Harry swerves to avoid her, and ends up crashing.

Before I go any further with this, let me make a note: the voice acting and dialogue in this game are terrible. It's not quite at original Resident Evil levels, but it is pretty close. Thankfully, this flaw does not detract much from the game's overall creepy atmosphere.

Harry regains consciousness some time after the crash, only to find that his daughter has gone missing. Intent on finding her, he exits the vehicle.

Through the fog and snow, Harry sees a figure that could very well be Cheryl. She manages to outrun him. Yes, a seven-year-old girl manages to outrun a grown man.

Cheryl leads Harry on a merry chase to an alleyway. Something isn't quite right with the alley, though, as he also quickly comes upon a bloody pile of...something. Eventually, we hear some sirens and everything starts to go dark. Harry pulls out a lighter and continues on his way until he runs into this:

So, now we know what kind of a ride we're in for.

Harry is then attacked by a group of very creepy, childlike monsters carrying butchers' knives that seemingly kill him! Well, that was a short game.

Actually, Harry comes around again in a diner, being watched by a blond police officer named Cybil. The two of them have a conversation, during which Cybil kind of gives him the third degree, at least that what the voice acting sounds like. Harry insists on going out to find Cheryl, and Cybil gives him a gun for self defense.

Here I shall also note that Harry can't shoot for shit. This, however, is part of the appeal of the game to me. You aren't playing some kind of commando, or anything like that. You are taking on the role of a writer who has probably never handled a gun in his entire life.

Back to the story, Harry gathers some supplies and prepares to exit the restaurant. Suddenly, a radio on one of the tables starts to emit static. Harry goes over to investigate, Uttering one of the series' most iconic lines. Seriously, you have to hear it, it's hilarious. Suddenly, a flying monster crashes through the window and attacks.

After killing the monsters, Harry decides to head back to the alley where he had followed Cheryl to see if he can find any clues. Upon reaching the end of the alley, Harry comes across his daughter's sketchbook. On one of the pages, the words "to school" are written, leading Harry to conclude that she is at the elementary school.

Unfortunately, the more obvious route to the school is blocked off by a gaping chasm, so Harry has to go the long way around. There is another sketchbook page (in a puddle of blood. Nice) directing Harry to find a doghouse on Levin Street.

Another interesting note, this one related to the street names: they are all named after horror writers. Levin Street, for example, is named for Ira Levin, author of Rosemary's Baby. Another street, Bachman Road, is named for Richard Bachman, Stephen King's pseudonym, under which he wrote The Regulators. Both of these books (along with others) have had some kind of influence on the game.

Going to the doghouse, Harry discovers that the back door requires three keys to unlock. Thankfully, the map on the wall points out the locations of these keys.

After unlocking the door with his new found keys, Harry steps out to the back porch. Suddenly, the sirens go off again, and darkness descends. It is through this darkness that Harry finally manages to find his way to the school.

That will be all for now. Join us next time, which will chronicle Harry's journey through the school.

Silent Hill Retreospective-An Introduction

2010-10-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this by saying that I love me some Silent Hill.

Pretty much anyone who has known me for more than five minutes knows this. I have been slowly but surely getting a good friend of mine (who normally doesn't play horror games) into this series.

It is my love for these games that has led me towards this ambitious project (plus the fact that I am no longer in school and have a lot of free time): I will play all of the games, in the order that they came out, and write reviews of them. Also, Halloween is coming up, so now is a perfect time for this.

First, however, a little background info for those who are unfamiliar with the series.

As I mentioned before, Silent Hill is a video game series, mostly developed by Konami. (Origins and Shattered Memories were developed by Climax Studios, while Homecoming was developed by Double Helix Games).

Why are these games so well loved, you might ask? The reason for that is simple: Not only are they pants-wettingly scary, they also manage to have extremely complex plots centered around very complex characters. I have played through the first three games multiple times, and have discovered something about them I had never thought of before each time.

The games focus on the small town of Silent Hill, a sleepy little burg that happens to harbor some very dark secrets. With each game, you take on the role of an "everyman" (or "everygirl" in the case of Silent Hill 3) type protagonist who has been called to the town for some reason and must find a way to escape the town. Meanwhile, the characters' attempts to do just that are being thwarted by a mysterious cult, not to mention the town itself.

There are currently seven games in the series, not including the Japan-only titles (such as the Play Novel for the GBA). I will not be reviewing these for fairly obvious reasons. I will also not be reviewing the comics put out by IDW, mostly because I have read some of them and they kinda suck. I haven't decided whether or not to talk about the 2006 film, but am kind of leaning towards yes.

I will have to warn you, though: due to the nature of these reviews (which will include some analysis), spoilers will abound, so read carefully.

The official first entry in this series will be coming as soon as I finish the first game will be coming soon, most likely within the next week.

Edit: I decided that "retrospective" was a better word for what I was trying to do here.

LOL

2010-05-18T17:17:00.000-07:00

This made me giggle. Especially when I looked up the guy in the lead (D.C. Douglas) and found that he played Wesker in some of the Resident Evil games. :D

Note: My sister Sarah posted this on Facebook. I felt that it needed to be shared with my faithful readers. Who are mostly my family. Who are also on Facebook...so, yeah.

What.

2010-01-01T10:27:00.000-08:00

So, Microsoft has been working on some new technology for the XBox 360. This, I do not have a problem with.

What I have a problem with is what the technology does.

Yes, apparently Microsoft has been developing a little gizmo that scans in a person and makes a somewhat realistic looking avatar of them. Again, no problems there, and it's actually pretty cool.

Then, according to that avatar, it determines whether or not Microsoft thinks someone should lose weight and will lock out areas of games and achievements unless said weight loss occurs.

That's right folks. Your weight and general health is apparently Microsoft's business.

Okay, to be fair, this feature does not look like it will be mandatory (it seems like it goes hand-in-hand with Project Natal, an addon Microsoft will be coming out with soon). However, in the case that this is something that comes mandatory with the system, I have the following issues:

1. Locking someone out of something that they paid money for is just really bad marketing strategy. When I purchase a sandwich, I don't pay to just eat half of it. I am going to eat the whole thing. It goes the same with a game: when I buy a game, I am going to want to actually play through the entire game. Therefore, I am not going to pay for a system that will prevent me from playing it.

2. My body type, and how much I eat or exercise, is no one's business but my own. Microsoft says they're doing this out of concern for many gamers' "sedentary lifestyles." What "lifestyle" their customers (you know, the people who give them money for their products) lead is, to be perfectly blunt, none of their fucking business. Also, many gamers I know do not lead "sedentary lifestyles," myself included. I like to go out, and do other things. Mostly those involve walking places, since I don't have a car. Also, I like to play Dance Dance Revolution. So, yes, I exercise while I game.

So, all I have to say to this is: fuck you, Microsoft. It is not your job to make pointed statements about other people's bodies.

A short poem I wrote.

2009-12-14T10:17:00.000-08:00

I wrote a poem today, in about five minutes. It was mostly inspired by the fact that it's been pretty freaking cold and snowy lately:

Winter in Duluth

Walking down the frozen streets in mid-January,

Ice coating the trees,

Snow crunching under my feet,

Change jangling in my pocket,

Thoughts of you jangling in my head.

Surrounded by the beauty,

the cold,

I walk on.

Guess I better stop liking Doctor Who then.

2009-10-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am aware that it has been a while. I have a reason for this. That reason is that I have now found a job. A job that does not try to eat my soul. And there was much rejoicing.
Anyway, there is something that has actually inspired me to write this blog: an insecure manchild!

Yes, it seems that a writer on The Spearhead (real subtle there, guys) going by the moniker of Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech (to whom I'm not linking, as I really don't want to give this asshole any more hits than he already has), has decided that "Science fiction is a very male form of fiction." The article is called "The War on Science Fiction and Marvin Minsky," if you wish to look it up.

He bemoans the fact that teh wimminz have been invading his own personal, masculine bubble:

The current generation of boys will not have this inspiration from science fiction, at least from science fiction on television and in movies. That’s because there is an undeclared war on real science fiction on TV and in movies. The former Sci-Fi channel, now “Syfy”, is a good example of what has been happening to science fiction on television. In 1998 Bonnie Hammer took over the Sci-Fi channel and declared that “more female viewers were needed”. Over the next several years, the Sci-Fi channel became increasingly feminized losing many of its traditional male viewers in an attempt to go after women viewers. This included making the logos “warmer and more human” because the logos before were “too male and too dark”.

THE VAGINAS ARE COMING! THE VAGINAS ARE COMING! RUN FOR YOUR MANHOOD!

Seriously? This guy is complaining about a cable channel trying to reach out to a larger demographic? Most of the guys I know are ecstatic to meet female geeks.

Also, I would like to point out that science fiction, while geared mostly towards men (Heinlein comes to mind) has never had just male readers or watchers. My mother used to watch the old school Star Trek when she was a kid.

Mr. Insecurity goes on to complain about how things are apparently a lot worse across the pond:

Things are worse in Britain. A few years ago Doctor Who was brought back. The man who brought back Doctor Who was Russell T. Davies, a gay man who proceeded to add a recurring character calledCaptain Jack who comes from the 51st century that was ~~bisexual~~ omnisexual. Yes, omnisexual as in not only is this character bisexual, but he has no problem with having sex with non-humans too. If you read interviews with Davies and the writers they use the term omnisexual to describe Captain Jack. Davies has also admitted in interviews that he believes everyone will be “omnisexual” by the 51st century. Davies had more plans like this for Doctor Who, but there were so outrageously bad and obnoxious that the leftist BBC actually put a stop to him doing that (citing that Doctor Who was traditionally a “family show”). Of course the BBC gave Davies another show called Torchwood which is basically close to being “slash fiction” on television.

Because a gay man is, in fact, a woman! And the only people that Captain Jack appeals to are women. Thearen't any straight men out there who simply think he's a cool, well-done character. Nope.

You know, I'm starting to sense that this guy is the type who spouts misogynist garbage like this literally everywhere he goes, and then wonders why he can't get a date.

He then complains (I'm sure you're noticing a trend here) about how young boys are no longer being "inspired" to become scientists by science fiction, because it is now being cluttered by relationship drama. Ok, just back the fuck up here. I would just like to state a couple things here:

1) I'm sure that there are mean who don't mind (or, gasp! like) fiction centering on relationships.
2)I am also sure that there are women who like science fiction for the science, and couldn't care less about the relationship aspect.

So, basically, what I got out of this article is that women are invading his super-secret clubhouse (which was never really all that secret anyway), and he's pissed.

Because, as we all no, no women have ever written sci-fi. Except for maybe Andre Norton. Or Anne McCaffrey. Or Ursula K. LeGuin, Elizabeth Moon, Lois Bujold, or CJ Cherryh.

Oh, snap!

Songs of the Week-August 14, 2009

2009-08-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

I have been falling behind on the Song of the Week feature, for which I apologize. Therefore, this week, you get 2 songs instead of just one!

The first one is "Reise, Reise" by Rammstein, since I'm in a kind of angry German metal mood today:

This is the first song on their album of the first name. According to that repository of knowledge known as Wikipedia, the first 40 seconds of this song (on the album, unfortunately not included on the video) are audio from the black box recording of Japan Airlines Flight 132, which crashed into a mountain half an hour after take-off. It is the deadliest plane crash in history.

The second song is a bit different: "Praxis" by Beatdrop.

Click here to download file.

This is from his album Revolution, which really is a fantastic album. The best part is that you can download his music for free, though donations are appreciated and encouraged. He also does quite a few OC Remixes, which are also very high quality.

On Being Female in Nerddom

2009-08-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

Yeesh, it has been a while. Sorry about that. Most of my energy lately has been spent on looking for a job. And the new World of Warcraft patch. Epic mounts at level 40=awesomeness!

I've heard many people complain about the lack of women in geekdom. I have to counter this argument by saying that they just aren't looking hard enough.

Now, it's true that, in many areas, geekdom is still very much a boy's club (I'm looking at you, Transformers fandom). Women who enter into these areas tend to be treated with either awe or contempt (both of which get annoying really fast). Hell, most of the time, when I post to forums, people tend to assume that I'm male (hint: I am most certainly not).

The truth is, there are a lot of female geeks out there. Many of them are actually real life friends of mine. Then, there's my family. Now, you might expect my dad to have been the one to get me into things like sci-fi and fantasy.

Actually, it was my mother.

My mom grew up watching the original Star Trek, and currently owns an old, slightly batterd copy of The Lord of the Rings, composed of all three books into one very large tome. In fact, it was from this book that I read The Fellowship of the Ring.

This is not to say that my dad doesn't have geeky tendencies. His just run more towards things like science and theology than literature. He's also a movie buff, which is something that passed onto the rest of us.

Due to this influence, my sisters and I grew up watching various Star Trek series (mostly The Next Generation and Voyager), and reading many fantasy and sci-fi novels. In fact, I remember what my first fantasy novel was: Dragon on a Pedestal, by Piers Anthony, at age 10. It made a rather nice change of pace from all the Babysitter's Club books I read at the time (which I outgrew, thank God). From there, it was an interest in video games from my late teens on, as well as an increased interest in anime and other forms of animated entertainment, as well as tabletop RPGs, like Dungeons and Dragons and Vampire: The Masquerade.

So, yes, female geeks exist. And, just like anyone else, all we ask for from our male counterparts is just a little bit of respect.

A Video For Your Viewing Pleasure

2009-08-05T14:13:00.001-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the greatest thing known to man: a cat in a pillowcase.

Song of the Week, July 31

2009-07-31T17:03:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Friday, so you all know what that means: Song of the Week time!

This week, I bring you "Sugalumps" by Flight of the Conchords.

It really needs the visuals to work properly.

Until next week, then!

Warcraft Movie News

2009-07-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

Sam Raimi to direct upcoming Warcraft movie.

I will admit it: I am a fan of World of Warcraft, though I have never played the strategy games upon which it is based (though the Warcraft III Battle Chest at GameStop does tempt me). Suffice it to say, I am rather interested in any news pertaining to the movie.

On the one hand, I believe that most movies based on video games suck, except for the Silent Hill movie, which I found quite enjoyable (but I digress). On the other hand, it's SAM FUCKING RAIMI. The man who gave the world the glory that is the Evil Dead trilogy and launched the career of Bruce Campbell. Speaking of whom, if Bruce Campbell is not in this movie, even as, say, some random Orc, I will be extremely disappointed.

This seems like the start of something that could be quite awesome.

[pimp space]
(My main is a level 44 blood elf warlock on Aerie Peak named Esindra, by the way. You can also find me playing on Aggrammar as a level 17 Draenei shaman named Veshtanari as well.)
[/pimp space]

Song of the Week, July 25

2009-07-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

This week's song is Korn's version of "Word Up!" Otherwise known as "Damn, that's a weird-ass video."

I seriously have no idea what they were smoking when they made this video, nor where I can get some.

Anyway, this is, of course, a cover of a song by Cameo off their 1986 album of the same name. I love this song, and particularly this version of it, for it is quite metal. It has the added bonus of annoying the crap out of my oldest sister.

Until next time, this was the Song of the Week.

10 Most Kickass Women in Games

2009-07-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that a lot of articles about women in video games focus mostly on how hot the women in question are. This, I think, is ignoring another facet of women in games: a lot of them just plain kick ass. Therefore, (in no particular order), I give you

The 10 Most Kickass Women in Video Games (according to a random person in Minnesota)

1. Aya Brea (Parasite Eve)

You don't see very many RPGs in which the main character is female. And those tend to have that character around as eye candy. This is not necessarily the case with Aya, as she spends most of the game wearing clothing that is actually practical (except for the dress-and-heels combo from the beginning, but this is excusable as she was on a date when the shit hit the fan). This example of New York's finest is also portrayed as a competent, level-headed person who can also, to borrow a phrase from Firefly, kill you with her brain.

2. Claire Redfield (Resident Evil 2, Code Veronica, and Degeneration)

Claire is something of an odd pick to represent the Resident Evil series, it seems. Unlike Jill Valentine or Ada Wong, she has had little to no actual military training (though she is more kickass than, say, Ashley from Resident Evil 4). However, she has done something no other RE character has ever done before.
Claire Redfield once bitchslapped a United States Senator. Forget facing down the zombie hordes. That's hardcore.

3. Lady (Devil May Cry 3 & 4)

Lady is packing. Seriously, this one woman carries probably more guns than the NRA and the Militia of Montana combined. One of them is an surface-to-air missile launcher, for Christ's sake. Named after her mother. And she knows how to use every one of them, as Dante finds out the hard way. Plus there's this:

It's really a shame that she's not a playable character. Hey, Capcom! There's an idea for Devil May Cry 5 for you.

4. Faris Scherwiz (Final Fantasy V)

A list of this nature wouldn't be complete without everyone's favorite cross-dressing pirate queen. In fact, the player isn't even supposed to know "he" is in fact a "she" at first. Then again, this is a fact that is so widespread people who have never even played the game know about it. It's like The Crying Game, in a way.
Anyway, it turns out that Faris is not only a pirate queen, she is technically the queen of the kingdom, having been lost at sea as a child. When offered the throne, she refuses, and goes back to her ship, leaving the kingdom to her sister. Seriously. She turned down the throne to continue pirating. That's awesome.
And this was a difficult pick, in that by the end of the game, three-quarters of your party are female. That's a rarity in a Final Fantasy Game.

5. Heather Mason (Silent Hill 3)

Ah, Heather. The first (and thus far) only female Silent Hill protagonist (excluding Rose from the movie), she is also quite possibly the sanest. She reacts to things the way that a normal person would (although I blame Harry's lack of reaction from game 1 on the terrible script). She also acts like a normal 17-year-old girl, at least up until the point where the game's villain, Claudia, has her father executed. This is about the point where she stops being scared and starts being pissed off, and goes to the titular town for the sole purpose of busting a cap in Claudia's pale, eyebrow-less ass. She then proceeds to make the cult's god her bitch.

6. Mitsuru Kirijo (Persona 3)

Mitsuru is another kick-ass 17-year-old girl, though she is decidedly less normal. Plus, she's also had some combat training, mostly because she's been fighting horrible hell-beasts for several years now. It's also notable that she's in an actual leadership position, seeing as how she's the head of SEES, the school "club" dedicated to eradicating the previously mentioned horrible hell-beasts.
The guys are also terrified of her, as exemplified by the time she "executed" them for peeking on the girls in the bath. It's not outright said what she did to them, but it's implied to be comically horrible.

7. Princess Ashe (Final Fantasy XII, FFXII: Revenant Wings)

Yes, another Final Fantasy character. But that is OK, as she, too, kicks a rather large quantity of ass.
Ashe is another female character in a leadership position; in this case, the deposed princess of the small country of Dalmasca. Her country was brutally taken over by the Empire of Archadia. After this, she becomes one of the leaders of the resistance movement. She's kind of like Princess Leia, only without the ridiculous hairstyle. Which is saying something, for a Final Fantasy game.
Along the way, she picks up an item with enough power to destroy just about anything she wants-and refuses to use it, because doing so would make her a pawn. She then goes on to win her country's freedom and kicks Archadia's ass (with the help of the rest of the party, of course) without it. Ladies and gentleman, I believe we have found the definition of badass.

8. Ivy (Soul Calibur)

Let's just ignore Ivy's ridiculously revealing default outfit, shall we (there's a reason I chose a picture of her more modest one)? She still manages to kick ass in spite of it.
Ivy has the distinction of having quite possibly the most awesome weapon in the game. It is a sword that is also a whip. Cue dominatrix jokes.
The truth is, she does have a very dominant personality. Ivy has decided she's going to decide her own destiny, and God help anyone who decides to get in her way.

9. Ayla (Chrono Trigger)

When the party goes back in time to the prehistoric ages, they meet the cavewoman Ayla. The cavewoman who is also the leader of her tribe. In a society where the strongest leads. And who can't be equipped with any weapons, nor can she use any magic.
That's right, folks. This is a woman who can beat the crap out of monsters with her bare hands. Also notable is that her hands level up with her, meaning the higher her level, the more damage she can dish out.
She's also pretty much bisexual, as she kind of hits on one of your female party members a little bit when you first meet her.

10. Paine (Final Fantasy X-2)

I play a lot of Square-Enix games. Can you tell?
Anyway, on to Paine. Paine is the warrior of the party, as this is her default dresshpere. She also serves as the party's level-headed member, serving to keep the very flighty Rikku and the only slightly less flighty Yuna grounded. Her personal mantra is basically "I'm going to start wounding you now." She's basically Auron (from the previous games) with breasts.
She also gets the most badass looking special dressphere: Full Throttle:

I am sure that there are more, but these are my favorites. If you have some favorite female game characters who kick ass, then feel free to discuss in the comments.

I think I now know how Lewis Black feels.

2009-07-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

I was going to post a list of the "10 Most Kickass Video Game Women" today, but I suppose that will have to wait until the next update. Because I came across this article today and it made my brain want to explode.

Boy Drinks Gas to Be Like Optimus Prime.

This, apparently, has been going on for the past five years (he is now 14), and the parents have done nothing about it. The article states that apparently, the kid's IQ has dropped significantly. You know, because gasoline often contains lead, which causes, y'know, brain damage. Not that the kid would have had to have been terribly smart in the first place, to start drinking petroleum products.

This, people, is why kids need to know the difference between fantasy and reality.

Song of the Week, July 17

2009-07-17T17:53:00.000-07:00

Thought I forgot about my new schedule, didn't you? Actually, I did, up until about two minutes ago.

So, Friday is now Song of the Week day! And the masses rejoiced. Today's song is "Rockin' the Suburbs" by Ben Folds.

I have to admit that I know pretty much nothing about Ben Folds, other than he's the guy who did that "Brick" song that I don't really like all that much. I do, however, like this song. Mostly because it pokes fun at the proliferation of emo. Or, as I like to call it, "straight, middle-class white males bitch about how much their lives suck."

Until next time, this was the Song of the Week.

Torchwood and posting schedule

2009-07-15T15:13:00.000-07:00

I have decided, since I added a PayPal button to the front page (making this kind of my job), that I should adopt some kind of actual schedule. I also feel that it would be a good exercise in trying to come up with material on a deadline, as well as injecting some kind of discipline and structure into my life. Therefore, I will be making a new post about something every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, see how that goes, and adjust accordingly.

Anyway, onto today's topic: Torchwood: Children of Earth

First of all, I would like to say thank God for YouTube. See, I am poor. Therefore, I cannot afford cable (not to mention that it would take a little while longer for the miniseries to hit American shores). So, yay YouTube!

Now, onto the miniseries itself.

For those who are reading who have no idea what I'm talking about, Torchwood is a spin-off of the insanely popular British sci-fi series Doctor Who. This one is targeted more towards adults. It features the immortal Captain Jack Harkness, a character introduced in the first season of the reboot, and his ~~harem~~ crack team of government operatives. Together, they fight aliens!

While the first season got off to a shaky start (it was like they were trying to stuff as much sex and swearing into a 45 minute period), the second season was actually quite good. It had actual character development. Children of Earth has managed to top both seasons.

The basic plot is that aliens have hijacked every child on the planet to deliver a message: we are coming. It is revealed that the aliens have had contact with us before. Cue government conspiracies, hits put on Torchwood, and a test of just what Jack can survive.

The story was excellently paced, with the lulls in the action giving us a little more insight into the characters' backgrounds, especially Jack and Ianto. While the mood in general is very dark, there are also some humorous moments, mostly involving Ianto's sister and her family. The ending was also one of the most heart-rending I have ever seen on television.

All-in-all, it was an excellent show. You do not have to have seen the rest of the series to understand what's going on, though it does help.

Now, when is the next Doctor Who special airing?

Avatar Casting Clusterfuck

2009-07-14T11:06:00.001-07:00

So, M. Night Shyamalan is working on an adaptation of the Nickelodeon series Avatar: The Last Airbender. OK, that's all well and good. Except for one teensy problem.

They have hired pretty much all white actors. For a film that takes place in an Asian-inspired fantasy world. Seriously. This is basically just one big cracker fest. Because who would want to watch a film with a plot and world inspired by Asian cultures with, y'know, actors who are actually Asian?
No, wait, that's not quite right. They have hired Asians: to play the villains, and a couple of relatively minor characters. They're not even the right flavor of Asian, for Christ's sake (as most of the bad guys in Avatar come from the Chinese/Japanese-inspired nation). Most of the actors for these roles are from India.

In order to give you an idea of just how terrible this whole thing really is, I give you a side-by-side comparison (I did not put this picture together, I found it linked on Fandom Wank):

You know what gets me? The fact that they guy who's playing Zuko (second from the top) would have been much better cast as Sokka (guy on the bottom).

Bonus stupidity: Casting Director DeeDee Ricketts, in the casting call for this movie, said, ""We want you to dress in traditional cultural ethnic attire," she said. "If you're Korean, wear a kimono. If you're from Belgium, wear lederhosen."

Now, I ask: What is wrong with this picture?

Gushing about Star Trek

2009-05-19T07:32:00.001-07:00

So, finally managed to get out and see the new Star Trek reboot last night. It was awesome.

Kirk? Awesome. Spock? Awesome. Sulu? Awesome. Scotty and McCoy? Really fucking awesome.

So, the basic plot of the movie is this: Romulans, from an even distant future in which their planet has been destroyed, have traveled back in time to take revenge on the one they think is responsible: Spock. Much mayhem and ass-kicking ensues. Then old, Nimoy!Spock shows up. And things explode. And implode. And Kirk is all hot and macking on green-skinned alien space babes.

The casting was excellent. Zachary Quinto looks very much like a young Leonard Nimoy, Karl Urban was perfect as McCoy, and Simon Pegg as Scotty got the accent down pat ("I'm givin' 'er all she's got, Captain!"). And there's a scene where Sulu pulls out a retractable katana, and totally Bruce Lee kicks a Romulan.

In short, you need to see this movie if you haven't. It is made of pure, distilled awesome.

American use of the word "otaku."

2009-05-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

There is something that has been on my mind lately. This item is the word "otaku." The term is placed on t-shirts and worn proudly by nerds throughout the United States.

You see, most people in the English-speaking world take "otaku" (オタク if you can read katakana) to simply mean "nerd" or "geek," particularly those who are interested in anime or manga.

It is also a word that I would never apply to myself, despite being into those things.

Why is this, you ask? Well, as Rush Limbaugh once said (and this is probably the only true thing the man has said in his life), "Words mean things." While the denotation of the word is essentially correct, it doesn't mean the exact same thing in its own culture. When used as a slang term, it means "one who is obsessively into their hobby," particularly anime, manga, and video games. The word "otaku" literally means "one's own home." I think this shows where I'm going with this. Therefore, it not only carries a connotation of "geek," it also carries the connotation of "weird, lonely shut-in." As a friend of mine once put it, calling yourself and otaku for something is kind of like calling yourself a nutsack.

Please, please, before you are going to use a foreign word to describe yourself, take into consideration how that word is actually used by that culture.

Review; X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2009-05-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Developer: Raven Software (PS3, XBox, PC), Amaze Entertainment (PS2/Wii)
Publisher: Activision Blizzard
System: XBox 360, PS2, PS3, Wii, PC
Price: $49.99, $29.99 for the PS2
Rating: Teen
Stars: 2/5

It is fairly common knowledge that video games based on movies have a tendency to suck. Imagine my surprise, then, when I learned that Activision's X-Men Origins: Wolverine wasn't absolutely terrible.
I should probably start by saying that the version that I got my hands on was the PlayStation 2 version. Why, you may ask? I'm cheap, and the PS2 version is a good $20 less expensive than its next-gen counterparts. I say this because experiences with the other versions may be different from mine.
The game, naturally, puts the player in the shoes of Marvel's Wolverine, specifically the version from the movies. In fact, it ties in with the movie of the same name that was released on May 1. With Origins, we get to see how the titular mutant becomes the violent misanthrope we've all come to know and love.
I suppose the game I could best compare it to is Sony Entertainment's God of War, only without bare breasts or the murder of innocent bystanders (gotta keep that T rating). Compared to God of War, however, the game falls a little short of the mark.
For one thing, there are no ranged attacks (though the ability to lunge helps make up for that). Since Wolverine's weapons are literally a part of his body, you have to get him up close and personal to enemies in order to attack (which poses some issues when said enemies are toting shotguns). Despite this, however, the game still manages to make combat, dare I say it, fun. Which it had better be, since you're going to be doing a lot of it.
Of course, it does have it's issues. The game is quite buggy (I remember being shot at through a building at one point), and controls can be rather sluggish. The in-game graphics (at least for the PS2 version) also leave a little something to be desired, though cinematics don't look half bad.
Mostly, I feel that if the studio had spent a little more time with it, ironed out most of the bugs, and tightened the controls a little bit, there may have been true greatness. As it stands, it is a fun but largely mediocre offering. The issues I had with the PS2 version may or may not exist with the other versions (I am particularly curious to see how it would control on the Wii). In short, I would recommend renting before buying.

Song of the Week-5/3/09

2009-05-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I said I would be doing this every week. Unfortunately, I am both a very odd combination of busy and lazy. Plus, we have video this week!

Anyway, on to this week's song: "Dream Person" by Faye Wong.

You may recognize this song. Yes, it is, in fact, a cover of "Dreams" by the Cranberries, in Chinese. Cantonese, to be more specific.

It was done for a movie called Chungking Express, a romance telling two stories about two different men (according to the Internet Movie Database, anyway, as I haven't actually seen the movie).

This is actually the second song by Faye Wong I've heard. The first, (and most gamers I know have this experience) was "Eyes On Me" from Final Fantasy VIII. That said, I need to get me some more Faye Wong, as she is awesome.

Silent Hill is an awesome game.

2009-04-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

So. Apparently Konami's gonna be doing a remake--no, wait, reimagining--of the first Silent Hill game. I am not sure how to feel about this, particularly since it's by the same team who gave us Silent Hill 0rigins, a game I felt failed to capture what made the original games so fucking freaky.

Anyway, this talk of remaking Silent Hill got me thinking of how much I loved this game.

It was the first video game to ever truly scare the hell of me. Not too bad, for a game that looked like this:

Not to mention the stellar writing, giving us such immortal lines as "Huh? Radio? What's going on with that radio?" and "Have you seen a little girl? Short, black hair? About seven years old?"

Still, despite the not-great graphics and abysmal script, this game managed to be an absolutely terrifying experience. Why is that, you may wonder.

I think the main reason this game struck such a chord was because of the character you control. In other horror games, like Resident Evil (also awesome), you take on the role of someone with a military or law enforcement background. This is not the case with Silent Hill.

With this game, you take on the role of Harry Mason, a writer who has, judging from how crappy a shot he is, has never held a gun before in his life. He loses his daughter in the titular town, and has to literally wade through hell looking for her. This is basically what I was talking about earlier--here you have an average guy, in extraordinary circumstances.

Second is the atmosphere. Of particular note is the game's trademark fog. Dark areas can be illuminated by a flashlight, but that only lights up a small area. Then there's your radio, which emits bursts of static when there's a monster or five nearby. And let me tell you, there's no worse feeling in this game than when you hear your radio, but can't see the monster.

And the monsters. You've got a giant lizard that looks like an ambulatory sausage (that you can only kill by shooting it's freakishly large mouth), dogs with no skin, and some kind of winged monstrosity that tries to rip your scalp off. Oh, and weird ape things that jump you from behind and try to hump you to death (and that that looks as wrong as it sounds).

I guess what I'm saying is, if Konami screws this up somehow, I shall be quite, quite pissed.

Oh, fuck you G4

2009-04-06T06:59:00.000-07:00

Remeber when G4 used to be TechTV? Y'know, back when it used to be good? I miss those days, and this article has reminded me why.

Apparently, G4 is looking for a "self-deprecating" and "attractive" female correspondent. Not necessarily someone who, y'know, plays or knows a goddamn thing about video games, but that the male viewers would find fuckable. To which I just have to say, once more, FUCK YOU.

Y'see, women in the gaming community tend to not be taken seriously. It is still very much a boy's club (though I have been very lucky to avoid such discrimination, mostly because I don't associate with asshats). This sort of thing tends to reinforce this idea.

Take, for example, Morgan Webb, co-host of X-Play. The main reason for her being on the show seems to be less actually talking about video games and more giving the (predominantly male) viewers something to look at. Her posing for Maxim only seems to reinforce this point.

Personally, I wouldn't want to work for a company that obviously only sees me as a piece of meat, rather than someone who knows what's she's talking about.

Something that I just don't get.

2009-03-17T08:18:00.001-07:00

That something that I don't get is the rampant popularity of the Twilight series.

Now, I'm not saying that you can't like it. Obviously, if you do, something about it appeals to you in some fashion. Nor do I believe in bashing something just because it's popular. If I don't like something, I usually have a reason for that.

I tried reading Twilight. I got about one page in before I decided that Ms. Meyer's writing style began to severely annoy me. I have since read summaries, just so that I could see what I was missing. The answer: not much. I find the relationship between Bella and Edward to be particularly perplexing. You want to know what my reaction to finding some guy standing in my bedroom in the middle of the night? A hearty scream and a "Get the fuck out of my house!" Followed by a beatdown.

The comparison of this book to Wuthering Heights also bugs me, and indicates the people who make the comparison (the author included) either did not read the book, or didn't understand it. It is not some great romance. It is a tale of love between two people who are destroying each other.

Also, the idea of Bella being a strong female character bothers me. No. Hermione Granger is a strong female character. Aya Brea from the Parasite Eve games is a strong female character. The difference between these two and Bella? They are capable of defining themselves outside of a relationship with a man. If either of these two had started pining for a guy to the point of being unable to do something (such as the chunk of one of the books which are blank except for months, which is just lazy-ass writing in my opinion), that is not strength. That is codependency.

And the fandom. Oh, GOD the fandom. Now, I've been involved in various fandoms throughout the years (including the absolutely insane Final Fantasy fandom). I am perfectly aware that the majority of most are actually sane, but are drowned out by the crazy minority (in fact, I have friends who are into Twilight, but manage to be sane about it). In this case, the rabid fans are called TwiHards. There is, in fact, an entire JournalFen community dedicated to snarking the crazy fans. The lead actor from the movie, Robert Pattinson, has admitted to being intimidated by these people and thinking SMeyer is a nutjob.

I just don't get it. Then again, I'm also a 26-year-old woman who still watches Transformers, so maybe you should just take my opinion with a grain of salt.

The most hilarious ad in the world.

2009-03-09T05:58:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I present an excellent example of double entendre:

There is no way in hell that this was unintentional. It's also fantastic.

Song of the Week-3/8

2009-03-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

One of the features that I will be trying out on this blog is the Song of the Week-I talk about one song a week that I like, why I like it, and post a link to it.

This week's song is Utada Hikaru's live cover of Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

I have to admit that I like this version of the song even better than the original (no offense to Green Day, whose music I do enjoy). Mostly I just feel that the song works better as an acoustic song rather than straight-up rock. Plus I've been a fan of Utada Hikaru ever since I first played Kingdom Hearts.

Unfortunately, since this song was recorded live, it is extremely rare and is not up for purchase anywhere that I have found. I got my copy from the Jpop Suki torrent tracker, which is an excellent resource for hard-to-find Asian pop and rock music.

Tryin' to catch me writin' nerdy.

2009-03-08T10:26:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new blog. After much soul-searching (which was really me being really bored earlier today), I decided to start it.

The title, "Tales of a Geeky Woman," is a bit of a misnomer. While I am, in fact, both a geek and female, there will be very few actual "tales"--the name I wanted it to be, "Girl Geek," was already taken. Rather, the purpose of this blog will be the examination (and gushing over) of various aspects of geek culture and media-mostly movies, music, video games, and books. Because I do so love books.

I hope for this to become something bigger than it is in the future, but I feel that this is the best place to start.

Happy Reading!
Katie